Left of Me

There's not much left of me anymore,
The cobwebs have finally been evacuated
And my ashes are blown away by the wind.
I come and I go now, as the waves do...
I'm here when you sleep and leave before you awaken.
We speak, or I listen, and life seems as it was
Then.

There's a vast emptiness inside now,
One I wish not to inflict on you, or her...
And emptiness that has no ending,
No meaning to the past...
No hope of any future...
Nothing has been left of me.

I used to have hope then,
I was a mystery to you, a puzzle.
I was the salvation you needed
And the fantasy that broke you to the core.
I'd lie if I said I did not rejoice in knowing
You needed me to breathe properly.
I'm still there, you know, even when I am away,
There are things one in my position must do
To avoid certain things out of my hands...
Stay away from eternal damnation...
Stay for one more moment
So that in that moment,
I can break your heart.

You still see me as human,
A demon beyond thy comprehension, love.
I am a monster who thrives on attention,
And I have sold my soul, my love...
For a glimpse of you.

I do as I am told, and am the major tool in the shack,
The chameleon you adored is now but a rusty nail
In his own coffin.
And damnation seemed so sweet until I caught a glimpse
Of the shiny star
In my universe.

My eyes were blind, and then I saw the light,
I broke you and now all tortures me...
And I try to find a way for my redemption
So I may flee too soon to break your heart again.
You call my name, and I am but a whisper,
I touch the glass between your skin and mine...
I dare not breathe your name another second...
I loved you most my dear... you are my afterlife.

Here Without You

My lonely mind wonders again towards you…
Dreaming of you all the time, never getting old…
Feeling you in my arms with each steady breath… I can smell you.
Still cannot wrap my mind around how far away you are from me…
I’m here without you, stuck in a paradise world, all empty and meaningless…
How much longer must I endure the torture of these miles that come between us,
Finally coming home to you shall be a great gift to myself.
Still terrified of loving, you’d be my first, my only angel…
Dreaming again of how your cheek would fit perfectly in my white palms,
Swearing on the life of my own heart that not a day goes by without my mind wondering back to you.
My lonely heart stops beating and missing you over and over again,
Dreaming of how good you’d look in my arms, perfectly fitted, I was made for you.
Here without you baby, but still closer than you might think…

What I need

You are now as you once were, so stunning and so lovely,

A sweet, intoxicating flavor that seems to call me.

And I am now, as I was then, your loyal servant,

For now I love as I then loved, and I was dormant.

I am yours and you are his, and I have known so much,

For in my darkest moments, love, I have craved your touch.

I may remember who you were, or I may forget,

But loving you is the one thing I will not regret.

I crave your touch, and love, and taste, I crave your body heat,

Because in life or death, my dear, you are just what I need.