It's late now, it is over... the darkness has won this...

The soul of innocence, shall not be missed.

Jaded for the last time, the vampire within

Demanded something more than to be fed, this time.

Innocent surrender belonged to broken souls,

And nothing but forgiveness shall be my reward

For I have suffered with you, my dearest little bore

Through centuries together, fighting for this cure.

I learned the languages you spoke so frequently,

I wore pricey clothes, if only you could see..

And then you saw me, dearest, few moments have been lost

And in your innocence, my dear, you paid the cost.

On you

You don't think about her, do you?
When she lays in bed and cries herself to sleep,
When she screams your name a bit too silently,
When she carves in skin to seal your life,
Or when she falls asleep with you on her mind.

You don't know the tears she cries,

Or count the nights without some nightmares,

You have no thought or comprehension,

You cannot even pay attention

Anymore.

You don't sleep with her now do you?

Your place has cooled and now's kept warm by someone else,

Someone she barely met the other night,

Someone who doesn't know her like you do.

I hope you're happy now. She's still hooked on you.

Heaven Sent

You are to me as stars once were,
So delicate, so competent, so new.
And in my lonely descent to hell
I'll take my solace that you're heaven-sent.

Perfect Calligraphy cannot do you justice,
Shakespeare would not even touch the surface
Of your sweet perfection, sweet intoxication,
You are a blessing. You're my lullaby.

I see you now, look at you my dear,
A grown up angel whispering in my ear,
I say I love you, Darling,
I mean the words I say
Yet this my dear,
Is not my place.

Photographs

moments in time forgotten rapidly
As if the memory itself wasn't enough...
Always fighting for me,
Always trying to stop
The sand of time can no longer pour.
The ground is wet now darling
My face has been erased.
And you cling desperately to what is left.
Papers can't bring me back
Tears can't summon my return,
And all that's left of me
Is another picture to burn.

Twisted

You look splendid darling,
Red suits you well.
The color of passion,
The color of Hell...
You look marvelous dearest
As if you're wrapped in blood,
The scent on your skin
Is awakening within
The dormant monster's twin: Infatuation.
You're but an angel, love
Your heart still on your sleeve
Yet all I can imagine
The red monster within
Has ripped his chains again,
You make me tear my flesh
So that the blood inside
Can finally keep you safe.

Secrets

You wondered how I left this planet behind
The pain that filled the last moment in time
You try to understand why I hid from you
Behind layers of cotton, black and blue...
I hid my scars too well
And in your innocence, you could not tell
You knew something was wrong
I told you not to check
The cat's out of the bag
So are my secrets.

Masterpiece

I have written you poetry beyond my own imagination,
Compared your lips to the sweet morning's dew...
Your eyes have burned through me with such a passion,
The passion of the millionth sun.

I have touched your soul as a sculptor would a statue
And memorized your every fold and crease...
Your words have pained through my eternity
With the ease of any artistic prodigy.

I have memorized your smiles, the way the light the rooms,
Your posture, thoughts have left me speechless once again.
Your lips the perfect composition of perfection,
They make Beethoven's Sonatas seem too plain.

I have sat beside you through your terrors,
And clutched my skin in ways of beasts...
And in your dreams, I creped besides you
I held you to my chest, just one more time.

Beside your self I laid my head, and closed my eyes again,
Your breath calmed the storm in them and made the panic shush,
The way you look straight in my eyes, although they may be borrowed
Makes it too hard to forget.

I analyzed your freckles one by one again,
The way they make you human, perfect, innocent.
You, angel, have done too much for me...
And you will stay my lullaby.

I painted you in my own blood, and put your prints throughout my soul,
You are my greatest masterpiece, you are what makes me whole.

I failed

I have broken your heart too many times to keep count,
I have lost my temper around you and scared you again,
I have forgotten my manners and showed my incompetence
And I burned my bridges for the last time, haven't I?

I keep telling you that this time it's going to be ok,
I keep lying about changing my mischievous ways again,
I keep crying for mercy for the pain I have caused you
And I'd slit my wrists for you, to make you mine again.

I was supposed to protect you from the outside world
And I have failed miserably and caused you to hurt...
I broke you and bruised you down to the core,
No wonder you stay reserved about me.

Left of Me

There's not much left of me anymore,
The cobwebs have finally been evacuated
And my ashes are blown away by the wind.
I come and I go now, as the waves do...
I'm here when you sleep and leave before you awaken.
We speak, or I listen, and life seems as it was
Then.

There's a vast emptiness inside now,
One I wish not to inflict on you, or her...
And emptiness that has no ending,
No meaning to the past...
No hope of any future...
Nothing has been left of me.

I used to have hope then,
I was a mystery to you, a puzzle.
I was the salvation you needed
And the fantasy that broke you to the core.
I'd lie if I said I did not rejoice in knowing
You needed me to breathe properly.
I'm still there, you know, even when I am away,
There are things one in my position must do
To avoid certain things out of my hands...
Stay away from eternal damnation...
Stay for one more moment
So that in that moment,
I can break your heart.

You still see me as human,
A demon beyond thy comprehension, love.
I am a monster who thrives on attention,
And I have sold my soul, my love...
For a glimpse of you.

I do as I am told, and am the major tool in the shack,
The chameleon you adored is now but a rusty nail
In his own coffin.
And damnation seemed so sweet until I caught a glimpse
Of the shiny star
In my universe.

My eyes were blind, and then I saw the light,
I broke you and now all tortures me...
And I try to find a way for my redemption
So I may flee too soon to break your heart again.
You call my name, and I am but a whisper,
I touch the glass between your skin and mine...
I dare not breathe your name another second...
I loved you most my dear... you are my afterlife.

Here Without You

My lonely mind wonders again towards you…
Dreaming of you all the time, never getting old…
Feeling you in my arms with each steady breath… I can smell you.
Still cannot wrap my mind around how far away you are from me…
I’m here without you, stuck in a paradise world, all empty and meaningless…
How much longer must I endure the torture of these miles that come between us,
Finally coming home to you shall be a great gift to myself.
Still terrified of loving, you’d be my first, my only angel…
Dreaming again of how your cheek would fit perfectly in my white palms,
Swearing on the life of my own heart that not a day goes by without my mind wondering back to you.
My lonely heart stops beating and missing you over and over again,
Dreaming of how good you’d look in my arms, perfectly fitted, I was made for you.
Here without you baby, but still closer than you might think…

What I need

You are now as you once were, so stunning and so lovely,

A sweet, intoxicating flavor that seems to call me.

And I am now, as I was then, your loyal servant,

For now I love as I then loved, and I was dormant.

I am yours and you are his, and I have known so much,

For in my darkest moments, love, I have craved your touch.

I may remember who you were, or I may forget,

But loving you is the one thing I will not regret.

I crave your touch, and love, and taste, I crave your body heat,

Because in life or death, my dear, you are just what I need.

Life

Blood pouring down the walls, like slow crimson rivers of death,

And we fight for another beginning to follow this darkened end.

And pain has not been by in quite some time,

When the last decent person was set in the ground…

Sometimes I try to think about the difference,

But now I cannot believe how my mind won’t wrap around

This bullshit excuse you have for a life.

Welcome

It’s your unintentionally curly hair that catches me,

Your stubborn eyes that pull me in…

Your spiteful smile that holds me down,

It’s your gentle hands that touch my skin,

Your tender voice that threatens me,

The midnight eyes that speak for you

Are all I couldn’t leave…

Your body was made for me.

You are my everything, my dear…

My sweet stability,

You are all that anchors me,

And I’m all that you should fear.

Your moonlight skin that glows for me,

Around you I can’t breathe.

Although I am your deepest curse,

It’s with simplicity.

A world so dark and so confusing…

Is waiting for your voice,

You are my deepest lullaby,

I am your sharpest curse.

Although you cannot understand

These urges can control,

You have awakened butterfly,

You will be mine and you will see

The night is so much sweeter…

You see the world through steady eyes,

You see it’s so much deeper.

And though you close your eyes right now,

And try walking away,

You will understand my dear…

This is your only way.

I used to know you

I stand beside you always,

Just like I always have,

I know your every movement,

I know your every thought

At least I used to know all that.

I knew how to finish your sentences,

I knew your exact heart beat time…

But now, my dearest, I know none of that.

You used to let me visit

And watch your dreams each night,

I used to have my own spot

In a dusty place up top.

Now I walk beside you,

My head bowed to the ground,

The shackles on my wrists and neck

Keep pulling me down.

Ask me if I miss you, darling.

Go on, ask me if I give a damn.

You’ll find my answer quite surprising,

And quite affirmative.

I used to know you darling,

And I do bleed for you…

For now, each time I walk with you

You never look beside you.

From Afar

I stand alone and watch from a distance,

Blood on my hands and sand in my eyes

Leaning against a barbed wire fence,

Squeezing needles in my palms.

And I try to pull away but my legs are nailed

And this 3 by 4 I carry around on my back

Sinks into my porcelain skin, I pay for my sin

And I watch from afar

Threw you on a pedestal and covered you in silk,

Listened to your every word and absorbed your soul…

Pulled you against me and pressed my lips to yours.

I asked no questions about your claimed purity…

And that was a fault on my part.

Now I cannot bring myself to tear your statue down,

Set it on fire and watch the sucker burn to the ground…

I live a gift of thought at your feet and disappear,

Whisper my apologies and leave for the night,

It’s done.

When I placed you to the sky, I offered you the stars,

You took them all and set them in your eyes…

And now they sparkle when you look at someone else,

And you’re still on my altar, you’re still

My earth-bound goddess.

I know you’re not as human as you were when we met,

When your biggest mistake was a misspelled word…

Now you worry about death and kids…

And you don’t realize, you’re spending your last days

…alone.

It breaks my heart to watch you tear yourself down,

I’m not worried, I know who will put you together.

But it kills me from the inside to know

You’re hurting everyone, my shining star

Is dimming out.

I can’t watch you forever, I need to move on…

I’ve been earth bound and used the energy of a thousandth sun…

And I have faith that you’ll realize what you’re doing

And you’ll fix it before it’s too late.

But you’re still on my pedestal, still a human goddess

Wait

I remember the long nights and conversations down to the letter,

When I knew when you lied and I told you to forget the lies.

I replaced your best friend and that made her feel better,

Because with me, you didn’t need a disguise.

Then the sand has passed through the hourglass,

And now we stand alone like two strangers,

I apologize for the pain, just as

I apologize for the constant dangers.

I could not help myself, for an angel is hard to come upon,

Sweet innocence is still the best aroma on this earth…

And when her wings engulf you, there is nowhere to run…

And you are stuck in a constant back and forth.

The lies I mentioned, I hope you do forgive,

But how can you tell the one you need the truth?

When all you can desire is the chance to leave

And cannot ruin another blessed youth.

I tried pulling away, as you can sure remember,

I couldn’t get too far from where you slept and lived,

For all your innocence hooked me like a fever

And you became the air which I surely breathed.

And now, we pull away, you from me and myself from you,

We found both loving arms in which to call retreat…

Please have no fear, there’s no comparison…

For always and forever I will wait for you.

I guess

I guess you could say I miss the attention.

Narcissistic fool without further redemption!

I guess you can say I miss spending the nights,

With you in my arms surely wrapped tight.

I guess you may say I miss your eyes,

When you looked at me and missed my demise.

I guess there are many things that pain me to say,

One day we shall miss and I will tell you all in one away day.

However, my dear, you should keep in mind…

In this world, the dead lead the blind

Not Alone Anymore

Securing my heart on that door with four rusty nails,

Your innocence is not as sweet as it used to be.

And you’re not so lovely, not so delicate…

But a cold blooded killer who murdered my heart.

You’re a victim yourself of some unsightly desire,

Cold hearted monster, stupid incompetence…

Tie me up with barbed wire dipped in acid,

Bold me into the concrete corridors…

This mind of yours so narrow and so dark,

I wish I could have showed you innocence.

How will you raise a couple of your own…

When your mind is prison to all that enter it?

Poor little child, your silly little smile,

Mommy and daddy have left you for a while.

Have no fear, my dearest innocent

I’m here, your parents are incompetent.

What are they teaching you? My dearest little one…

Have no fear, you’re not alone tonight, I’ll be your guardian.