Life

Blood pouring down the walls, like slow crimson rivers of death,

And we fight for another beginning to follow this darkened end.

And pain has not been by in quite some time,

When the last decent person was set in the ground…

Sometimes I try to think about the difference,

But now I cannot believe how my mind won’t wrap around

This bullshit excuse you have for a life.

Welcome

It’s your unintentionally curly hair that catches me,

Your stubborn eyes that pull me in…

Your spiteful smile that holds me down,

It’s your gentle hands that touch my skin,

Your tender voice that threatens me,

The midnight eyes that speak for you

Are all I couldn’t leave…

Your body was made for me.

You are my everything, my dear…

My sweet stability,

You are all that anchors me,

And I’m all that you should fear.

Your moonlight skin that glows for me,

Around you I can’t breathe.

Although I am your deepest curse,

It’s with simplicity.

A world so dark and so confusing…

Is waiting for your voice,

You are my deepest lullaby,

I am your sharpest curse.

Although you cannot understand

These urges can control,

You have awakened butterfly,

You will be mine and you will see

The night is so much sweeter…

You see the world through steady eyes,

You see it’s so much deeper.

And though you close your eyes right now,

And try walking away,

You will understand my dear…

This is your only way.

I used to know you

I stand beside you always,

Just like I always have,

I know your every movement,

I know your every thought

At least I used to know all that.

I knew how to finish your sentences,

I knew your exact heart beat time…

But now, my dearest, I know none of that.

You used to let me visit

And watch your dreams each night,

I used to have my own spot

In a dusty place up top.

Now I walk beside you,

My head bowed to the ground,

The shackles on my wrists and neck

Keep pulling me down.

Ask me if I miss you, darling.

Go on, ask me if I give a damn.

You’ll find my answer quite surprising,

And quite affirmative.

I used to know you darling,

And I do bleed for you…

For now, each time I walk with you

You never look beside you.

From Afar

I stand alone and watch from a distance,

Blood on my hands and sand in my eyes

Leaning against a barbed wire fence,

Squeezing needles in my palms.

And I try to pull away but my legs are nailed

And this 3 by 4 I carry around on my back

Sinks into my porcelain skin, I pay for my sin

And I watch from afar

Threw you on a pedestal and covered you in silk,

Listened to your every word and absorbed your soul…

Pulled you against me and pressed my lips to yours.

I asked no questions about your claimed purity…

And that was a fault on my part.

Now I cannot bring myself to tear your statue down,

Set it on fire and watch the sucker burn to the ground…

I live a gift of thought at your feet and disappear,

Whisper my apologies and leave for the night,

It’s done.

When I placed you to the sky, I offered you the stars,

You took them all and set them in your eyes…

And now they sparkle when you look at someone else,

And you’re still on my altar, you’re still

My earth-bound goddess.

I know you’re not as human as you were when we met,

When your biggest mistake was a misspelled word…

Now you worry about death and kids…

And you don’t realize, you’re spending your last days

…alone.

It breaks my heart to watch you tear yourself down,

I’m not worried, I know who will put you together.

But it kills me from the inside to know

You’re hurting everyone, my shining star

Is dimming out.

I can’t watch you forever, I need to move on…

I’ve been earth bound and used the energy of a thousandth sun…

And I have faith that you’ll realize what you’re doing

And you’ll fix it before it’s too late.

But you’re still on my pedestal, still a human goddess

Wait

I remember the long nights and conversations down to the letter,

When I knew when you lied and I told you to forget the lies.

I replaced your best friend and that made her feel better,

Because with me, you didn’t need a disguise.

Then the sand has passed through the hourglass,

And now we stand alone like two strangers,

I apologize for the pain, just as

I apologize for the constant dangers.

I could not help myself, for an angel is hard to come upon,

Sweet innocence is still the best aroma on this earth…

And when her wings engulf you, there is nowhere to run…

And you are stuck in a constant back and forth.

The lies I mentioned, I hope you do forgive,

But how can you tell the one you need the truth?

When all you can desire is the chance to leave

And cannot ruin another blessed youth.

I tried pulling away, as you can sure remember,

I couldn’t get too far from where you slept and lived,

For all your innocence hooked me like a fever

And you became the air which I surely breathed.

And now, we pull away, you from me and myself from you,

We found both loving arms in which to call retreat…

Please have no fear, there’s no comparison…

For always and forever I will wait for you.

I guess

I guess you could say I miss the attention.

Narcissistic fool without further redemption!

I guess you can say I miss spending the nights,

With you in my arms surely wrapped tight.

I guess you may say I miss your eyes,

When you looked at me and missed my demise.

I guess there are many things that pain me to say,

One day we shall miss and I will tell you all in one away day.

However, my dear, you should keep in mind…

In this world, the dead lead the blind

Not Alone Anymore

Securing my heart on that door with four rusty nails,

Your innocence is not as sweet as it used to be.

And you’re not so lovely, not so delicate…

But a cold blooded killer who murdered my heart.

You’re a victim yourself of some unsightly desire,

Cold hearted monster, stupid incompetence…

Tie me up with barbed wire dipped in acid,

Bold me into the concrete corridors…

This mind of yours so narrow and so dark,

I wish I could have showed you innocence.

How will you raise a couple of your own…

When your mind is prison to all that enter it?

Poor little child, your silly little smile,

Mommy and daddy have left you for a while.

Have no fear, my dearest innocent

I’m here, your parents are incompetent.

What are they teaching you? My dearest little one…

Have no fear, you’re not alone tonight, I’ll be your guardian.

Watching hopes disintegrate into a suspicious background,

Tormented souls running through the open doors.

Can you hear this? Can you smell that?

The sound of tears and the smell of fear inundating…

The moment soon approaches, close your eyes and duck.

Patience runs slower than usual and I think I could lose you,

A gun to your head and a knife in your side,

I want to hear you beg, moan and cry.

Murder

I’m too fucking old for this, and I’m too fucking young…

Forgive me if what I’m about to say will sound wrong,

But I wish I could cut you and feed you your whole…

Maybe that will put together your soul.

I’m thinking of putting a blade to your throat,

And make an incision enough to dry you out…

You stupid thing, you fucking moron,

I’m gonna kill you soon.

Too fucking over this, been there done that several times,

And fucking a, I’m thinking ‘bout this bullshit story

You’ve laid out, you’ve struck out, you lucked out…

I’m taking you down, that’s a promise.